Oh F*ck Yeah with Ruan Willow

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Ep 356: Healthy Sexual & Emotional Intimacy, How Embodiment and Nervous System Regulation are Important with Dr. Alison Ash.  She is a sex & intimacy coach and educator/lecturer at Standford University, and online. Dr. Aly shared what embodiment means and how our US culture devalues the wisdom of our bodies, so we often disconnect from our bodies as a result, which causes us to run into problems in sex, relationships, pleasure, and quality of life. Not only does the US have poor sex ed, it basically has zero intimacy education (but things are getting better as some universities are starting to offer such courses). Practicing embodiment is to be very present living in the moment, which Dr, Aly explained is a form of meditation and mindfulness. We can engage in nourishing our intimacy. Our intimacy can be draining rather than fulfilling if it's lacking. She offers courses to help people with this and other issues (including sexual topics). She explained how the 'window of tolerance' and 'range of resiliency' impacts our lives and relationships, and how we can widen that window through self-care.  She talked about examples of self-care, which our culture tends to minimize and devalue, such as taking a bath, gardening, journaling, or wrapping up in a soft blanket. She addressed how we need to self-soothe (self-regulate) and co-regulate (meaning engaging in a soothing connection with someone else...aka feel that click with them). Both are important for a healthy relationship.  She stated intimacy comes from mutual vulnerablity and with our goal oriented culture, goal oriented sexual relations often occur and this takes us out of our bodies which leads to less enjoyable and fulfilling sex lives. She also stressed that as a culture, we need to stop labeling emotions as good or bad, they are all valuable and give us all information.  We also touched on repairing ruptures in relationships, and the female sexual genitalia anatomy...do you know what the clitoris looks like? It is about six inches long and has lobes, legs, a shaft, and a head (somewhat analgous to the penis).

Check out Dr. Aly's new course https://www.turnon.love/sexual-and-emotional-intimacy-skills
And her other courses: http://www.turnon.love/
https://ohfckyeahwithruanwillow.buzzsprout.com/1599808/11886390

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